....sorry, you'll have to read on.
Sadly to date results have not been kind to the 1sts and conceding 282 runs to Herongate on Saturday was hardly the best of starts either. Nor was it part of the plan to lose our captain with what looks like another season-ending injury. So there was plenty of scope for self pity at the interval.
But the remaining 10 men were having none of it. Congratulations first to Scott for producing yet another belter of a wicket which played true right through to the end. Now down to the real stuff.
Paul's injury meant an unexpected promotion to opener for Lewis and he helped us get off to a flyer with a stylish (think that's how he described it) 22. This combined with a welcome return to form for Snail (66) and the customary impetus (51) from Canvey's Mr Indestructable. Nonetheless with 10 overs left still over 100 runs were needed. Enter Joe and Callum ....
With Joe's 1st team career having spanned 1 ball previously how would he fare? Well, having taken a single to open his account, a straight 6 of fully 100yds carry seemed to settle any nerves. Gradually they chipped away at the target thanks to a mixture of big hitting (proper shots though) and superb running (Drucey turning 3 or 4 quick singles into blink-of-an-eye 2s). With 3 overs left however the required rate was over 14 an over.
Joe then reached a simply brilliant 50 and celebrated by once again clearing the boundary. Callum somehow managed to fend a head-high beamer to the boundary (5 runs and an extra ball) and with 2 balls left the winning single was taken. Joe (68no) and Callum (29no) had put on 100, tackled the chase with the experience of veterans and then brought it to a fantastic climax.
As Andy ran on to the field in celebration I swear that I saw him place a huge kiss on Joe (but there were no tongues). I am just delighted that a player who was batting down the order in the 3s this time last year has progressed to a genuine matchwinner for the 1sts. I think his Old Man was even more pleased than me!
News from the 2s is less good. Frankly we just didn't make enough runs to be competitive with one or two players getting in then getting out. A total of 139 was passed by Rayleigh Fairview with 7 wickets in hand. Good to see Ryan chipping in with a couple of wickets and a big thanks to Dean Wilkinson who helped out at very short notice.
A similar story from the 3s. Despite another half century from Nico 146 was not enough to test the league leaders and the total was passed with 7 wickets to spare. Good to see Joe B getting amongst the wickets though.
The Sunday XI came up against Havering in a league fixture and got home by 9 wickets. Meantime the Evening League team continued their 100% start to the season with victory over Spartans.
Remember .......when the going gets tough the tough get going.
Snail will be doing special offers on "I Love Joe Wheeler" t-shirts on Saturday. 3 wins would be good.
If you aren't all Twenty20'd out Essex are playing Middlesex at Lord's on Friday 26th June, start 5:30. Tickets are available in the Grand, Mound & Edrich stands priced at £20 with avail

This summer Vodafone have put together an impressive line up of cricketing events and celebrations, including the chance to win npower Ashes tickets as part of the Vodafone Street Sixes. The Vodafone


